Becoming your OWN Dream Woman

In a male centered world it can be easy for women to become male centered. I recently came across a video where a man mentioned to NOT marry a man unless you are HIS dream woman ... and it got me thinking ... yes I agree with the idea of being a man's dream woman before agreeing to marry him, but we can never be 100% sure that we are anybody else's dream woman. We can only be 100% sure about our own thoughts and ideals.

A man can lie or make you believe that you are his dream woman, when in reality maybe he's day dreaming about another woman, or a different kind of woman, maybe in his mind he's settling. Now the purpose of this post is not to be negative or bash men in any way, it's to get the idea across that being a man's dream woman before getting married shouldn't be ehe goal nor focus. The focus should be, being out OWN dream women before we decide to give ourselves to a man in marriage. We ourselves are the one and only person that we can be sure of fulfilling and making happy, so that's what we should be doing.

Before we get started, if you'd prefer to listen to a discussion about this rather than read it, check out my youtube video on this exact topic.

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https://youtu.be/J2SFXQDG6Eg?si=aewkxFekcu7Xzh20

How to Become your Own Dream Woman

Becoming our own dream woman is essentially just becoming the woman who can create and live out the life of our dreams. What does the life of your dreams look like? What do you do for a living, what hobbies do you take part in? What kind of house do you have or car do you drive. How much time are you able to spend with friends, family, and having fun. Envision your ideal life.

Then think about what kind of woman you would need to become in order to achieve these things. What is your discipline like? Level of self love, esteem, and confidence? What values do you hold, and what is your mindset like? It gets really deep and I can name a plethora of things here but I'm sure you get the point. We need to figure out who that woman is and how we can get closer to becoming that better version of ourselves, because you already ARE her, you just need to invest into her and bring her to her full potential.

Life Categories

This part is important because it's going to give you a roadmap and starting point to the journey of becoming you own dream woman. I am currently on this journey just like you so I'll name some of the categories I'm working on. Feel free to add or remove any categories as it suits your situation and lifestyle.

• Finances: Debt, Income, Budgeting, Investing, Saving. What does all of this look like for you vs. how it should look for you to get to where you want to be.

• Fitness & Health: Activity level, diet, physical healtha and ability, mental health. Can you be invest more time, energy and effort into this area of your life.

  
  

• Faith: Not perfection just consistency in maintaining that relationship with God which will give you strength, guidance, and grace along your journey.

  
  

• Family: Investing into your relationships with your family while also having healthy boundaries.

  
  

• Fellowship: How much time are we spending with other like-minded women? Giving and giving support, building community.

  
  

• Rest: None of this possible without rest as it will contribute to your overall health and ability to perform.

• Fun: All work and no play makes a very dull woman, it also makes a very dull life. Are you exeperiencing new things, trying thing you've always wanted to, enjoying the outdoors. Take yourself out on date! Whatever it takes to have some fun in life.

  
  

• Function: By function I'm referring to your ability to get things done. Productivity levels, time management, professional advancement etc. Are we getting things done? Can we find a way to get more things done effectively and sustainably? Get educated on ways you can improve this are if needed. Invest in tools and resources that can help you achieve your goals.

  
  

• Mindset: Mindset for me means a lot of things. It does past having a growth mindset. We need the mindset that defaults to investing in ourselves and knowing that it's okay to do so. What is our confidence like, our self esteem, level of self love, self care. Are we investing time, energy and effort into ourselves?

  
  

Where to Start

I know I mentioned a lot of categories up there, (don't forget to customize the experience for yourself by adding and/or removing categories.) It can be very overwhelming trying to focus on every category all at once, so here is what I suggest. Start with the areas that you are least satified with. This could be 1 - 3 areas which is managable. But if you just can't help but want to make improvements in every area as soon as possible I got you!

If you're Focus is ALL Categories, Do Tiny Habits

Tiny habits can make a huge difference. If you want to focus on all categories it will be extremely hard to go all in on everything, especially when you're just starting out and trying to form better habits. So try tiny ones.

For example, with faith, maybe you just wake up and listen to a bible plan in the bible app in the morning as a part of your morning routine. It doesn't take much time away from anything and it can help build consistency. Or for fitness maybe just getting a few extra steps steps a day to reach 5 - 10k. You can start small, it will growth AND have big impact overtime.

Go Hard in a Few Categories.

Now if you're choosing to focus on 1 - 3 categories, you'll have more capacity to go harder. For example, for fitness maybe now you can go to the gym 3 - 4 times a week, meal prep, and count your calories. Or for faith now you can study a verse in the bible every morning.

It's all about how much capacity have and making sure it's sustainable so you can be consistent and build momentum.

How to Start

Alot of these categories can be a bit overwhelming to dive into (finance being the most daunting for me because I do NOT like budgeting). 9/10 if we aren't happy in a particular area of our life it's because we don't know how to and/or have the capacity to make it better.

Get Educated

You don't have to spend a ton of money to get educated on things. There's youtube, google, ChatGPT and favorite inexpensive resource of all, books. Yes I know there's some books that could get expensive but ultimately you should be able find a book on the subject matter you need for a reasonable price. Also don't forget we are trying to get into the habit of investing in ourselves so keep that I mind.

Communicate openly when you can, you'd be surprised how many are willing to and actually want to help you succeed if they know what your goals are and have the capacity and knowledge to help you.

Join groups and clubs because support is one of many great way to hold yourself accountable and not only that support will help you get further in your journey. Go take an actual fitness class or join a run club for fitness goals. join a book clud for personal development goals, where ever you can be around like-minded people is a good place to be.

Conclusion: YOU GOT THIS

This is quite literally the journey of a lifetime, becomingt the woman you've always wanted to be so give yourself grace along the way. It won't be easy and that's okay, it's not suppose to be, but it will be rewarding. Don't forget, I'm on this journey right a long with you okay, we will help eachother power through. I'm going to sharing as much as I possibly can along this journey and I hope it helps so stay tuned.